(Originally posted in 2004 and lost in the attack. reposted from alternate archives - Kelryck)

Biddlyboo and the Old Hag
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I be pleased to be telling a tale before all of you tonight. Now my tale doesn't have deamons, or dragons, or even cupcakes.

This is a tale of Biddlyboo. A celtic lad who started life as a ranger, but turned to life on the road as a bard. Some tales are happy, some are sad... so sit back and listen as I weave a tale of this errant lad.

Now Biddlyboo started life as a ranger, and he wandered the lands plinking things with his bow, and sneaking about... But he wasn't very good at those things, and he was quite despondent... one day, he decided his life was over.

Even clerics and healers had discovered him skulking about in Thidranki and he felt his life not worth living, having been smacked silly by both of them. So he climbed to a high cliff and he was about to toss himself over the lip when an old decrepit hag spoke up...

"What are ye planning to do there, lad? What's got ye all in a tizzy that ye think your life not worth living?""

Biddlyboo stepped back from the edge and turned about to speak with the hag. "I'm a failure at all that I try... tis time to turn the wheel and begin anew. My life's not worth living.""

Today may be your lucky day then, when things turn around for ye. Tell me of your troubles for I'm an old witch with great powers and I may be able to help ye."

Biddlyboo thought for a moment... "I'm terrible with my bow. I cannot even seem to hurt a fly, much less an enemy of the Realm."

The old hag snapped her fingers thrice. "Now you're the finest bowman in all Hibernia. What else?""

Biddlyboo looked at her with new respect. "MY stealth is such that anyone can find me... I cannot even hide from the rabbits in the field.""

The old hag snapped her fingers thrice. "Now your stealth is the finest in Hibernia. No one will find ye if you wish to be hidden.""

The poor lad thought a final time... His confidence restored and ready to try out his new skills. How can I repay you, old woman for your gifts?"

Hey diddle diddle, cat and the fiddle, whats a poor boy to do? Hey didde diddle, spin me a riddle, what will become of Biddlyboo?"

Well, it has been a long time since I had the pleasure of laying with a man. Come back with me to my hut and spend the night with me, and all your gifts will stay with ye forever."

Now Biddlyboo almost gagged to himself at the thought of laying with the old woman... but she had given him great gifts, so he steeled his resolve and followed her back to her hut.

The night passed... with much ado and a bit of this and that... and with the morning's sun Biddlyboo awoke and looked at the old hag.

He tried to stealth and found that his stealth was just as it had been the day before... terrible!

He looked over at the old crone and woke her up. "You said my gifts would stay with me!"

"Now how old are ye, lad?" the old hag replied.

"Why, I'm close to 25 seasons. What does that have to do with anything?""

"Aren't ye a bit old to believe in witches and wishes?"

"Hey diddle diddle, cat and the fiddle, whats a poor boy to do? Hey didde diddle, spin me a riddle, what will become of Biddlyboo?"

And that was the day that Biddlyboo decided to give up being a ranger and become a bard.... so some good became of the night spent with the hag after all."